Tag: important

thetriskeliondiaries:

I’m Gonna Spell It Out.

I don’t care how long you’ve been doing this.

I don’t care if you’ve been in the lifestyle for two weeks or 40+ years.

I don’t care how old you are.

I don’t care how “well known” you are.

I don’t fucking care.

If you are making a submissive break a rule for the express purpose of punishing her for that rule break? You’re an abusive fuck.

If you make a rule that is “no cumming without permission” and then bind her mouth so she cannot beg and belabor her clit mercilessly until her body breaks and she orgasms beyond her own will, and for that, you punish her?

You are an abuser.

You are an abuser.

You are not controlling her mind. You are not bending her will. You are not a dom above doms. You are not an expert. You are not a master.

You are practicing mental and emotional abuse. You are breaking her. You are pushing beyond safety. You are pushing beyond consent.

This. Is. Abuse.

Submissives, eyes open. Ears open.

This is not complete surrender. This is not your utmost for his highest. This is your destruction for his delight.

Run.

{straight from an ask given to @instructor144 and my own recent run-in with a wannadom named @tigerbdsm. Fuck this}

Aftercare & why it’s not only important but ESSENTIAL

cgl-advice:

What is aftercare:
      Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well. 

    Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.

    It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience. 

     If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you. 

Examples of Aftercare: 

  • Snuggling
  • Drawing them a bubble bath
  • Cuddles and a movie
  • Gentle caressing 
  • Just holding your partner
  • Giving them a bath
  • A massage
  • Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks
  • A short nap with your partner
  • Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)
  • Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)
  • Brushing their hair
  • Watching a movie of your partner’s choice
  • Reading a book to them
  • Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds
  • Letting them know they’re safe
  • Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal
  • Ensuring their comfort item is within reach
  • Treating any potential injuries/wounds
  • Having a deep conversation/heart to heart
  • Reading them a story
  • Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate
  • Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.
  • Ask how they are feeling and checking often
  • Validate them
  • Be emotionally available and understanding

For more information about aftercare check out these following links:

>>click here<<
>>click here<<
>>click here<<